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A PARABLE “April was 7 years old when her father’s brother, Uncle Pete, started to sexually abuse her. He did it just about any chance he got which was pretty often because Dad and Uncle Pete were partners in a construction business. Uncle Pete was over at April’s house a lot and sometimes he would take her out in his truck when he went to pick up timber and stuff.
“April was nine when a lady came to school and gave a talk about keeping safe. She said that if any of the kids were being touched in a way that made them feel bad or yucky then they should tell a safe adult and then the yucky touching would stop and everything would be alright again (at least that’s what April heard). April told her teacher about what Uncle Pete was doing to her.
“I met April and her mother about three months later. Both were anxious and distressed. April cried as she told me that she wished she’d never told on Uncle Pete. She was glad the sexual abuse had stopped but she was feeling scared about all the things she kept hearing about Police and court and something called a medical and she’d even heard her Dad say that he was going to “bloody kill” Uncle Pete. Mum and Dad were fighting all the time. April knew it was about her. Uncle Pete wasn’t allowed over at their house and she wasn’t even allowed to pick up the phone when it rang anymore.
“April’s mother was now on anti-depressants, prescribed by her GP because she had become easily tearful, anxious and her sleep and appetite had become disturbed. It was hard holding things together at home. The Police had told her and her husband not to alert Pete to the allegations. She wanted to do the right thing but, hell, it had been three months now and they were running out of excuses to keep Pete away from April. She knew that he knew that something was up but nobody could talk about anything and the tension was nearly at breaking point.
“On top of this the Social Workers wanted April to have a medical examination. What the hell for? As far as she knew there hadn’t been any penetration involved in the abuse. This could only mean one thing – the Social Workers knew more about what had happened than she did and they weren’t letting on. It must be pretty awful then. She wasn’t allowed to see the video that April had made so this just confirmed the horror that they must be protecting her from. Either that or maybe they didn’t trust her. Had April said something about her in the video?
“The social workers said she shouldn’t be probing April about this stuff and she knew they were right about that but it was so hard – all this not knowing was driving her crazy. Well either way she was blowed if she was going to let April be subjected to all that poking and prodding in the medical. It was hard enough for an adult to have to have that kind of examination, imagine what those speculum things must feel like to a child. And now the Social Workers were treating her as if she was a bad mother and didn’t want to protect her own daughter. God it just felt like she had lost control of everything – even she and her husband couldn’t come together on anything anymore. He just seemed to not want to know and left all the dealings with social workers and counselors up to her.”
Kathryn Barriball Dip. Psych (From her comments at the Programme Launch, 12 July 2000) |
